Shape of my heart
by wheretobe
Summary: AU companion to Cabin Fever no must read though and a one shot HUDDY


Title: Shape of my heart (campanion piece to Cabin Fever)

Author: wheretobe

Rating: PG

Summary: Shedding some light into the early huddy years for my (AU) story Cabin fever

Authors note: R&R highly appreciated

Disclaimer: I don't own House or the Characters of the show, David Shore and Fox do. I'm just using them for some fun.

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_"And every time you throw him to the wall, why are you surprised, he's breakable." (Fisher, Breakable)_

Her voice used to be soothing like honey over sore throats, used to calm your inner beast whenever she saw you, her lover, coming near the other woman. The voice used to jolt you back to the reality you set for yourself and her. Tonight it infuriates you, the calm anger hidden behind it and you know she'll be refusing any body contact for a week until you come home, faking anger over the other woman and take her out, to the most expensive place, making her feel loved, special and cherished.

You do love her, really. But you want someone else, want to love someone else at night, bury your hands in her wild locks until you both pant each others name's in unison. You tear your eyes away from her, your heart squeezing painful

as you see her laugh at her companion, whatever it was that he told her.

That night as you lay in bed you don't even try to pull her close, feeling her fume.

'You'll never understand.' You whisper petulant.

'Oh I do understand Greg. You want to be with her so badly but just can't make yourself to step up to her.'

'I am with you. I want to be.'

A sigh, unnerved and sad, tore from her throat and she turns her back on you, not the first time as you'll come to learn.

'You just want to be with me because she'd never turn to you.'

You learn a vital lesson that day. She knows and she'll always suspect.

You stay with each other, clinging to the warmth at night and the companionship. And each day at the Hospital your eyes are glued to the other woman, sway of her hips, flick of her hair and that smile of hers, lightning rooms. While you yell at her, convinced that if you push hard enough and make her believe you despise her, on day you'll believe it too.

_" And if I told you that I loved you, you may be think there's something wrong, I met a man with too many faces, the mask I wear is one."(Sting, Shape of my heart)_

His gaze is burning a hole into your back, burning down your spine and making you shiver as you know that once again his attention is with you while it should be with his lady friend, his girlfriend of two years, the one that, people told you, makes him laugh and you've once questioned if that could ever be enough for him. The way he stares it you tells you the truth.

He's almost made you believe he hates you but at moments like these you know it's an act.

Your dance partners hands grip harder at your waist, calling your attention.

'At least pretend you're here with me.'

' I...I am Jake!'

'He stares at you like he's about to devour you!'

' Jake it's not my fault he does it.'

'You could stop shivering when he does, Lisa. Because you won't go home with him as long as he's with her and I suspect that'll be some time.'

It stings hard and you want to move away, his hand clutches hard though and you stay, clutching at Jake's arms because you feel like fainting from the pain.

Your eyes meet his fierce one's and you both pretend that you're dancing with each other instead of your significant others.

'I won't leave you for his satisfaction Lisa!'

It almost sounds threatening and almost makes you draw away from him before you remember that Jake is the only one putting up with your ridiculous working hours and Greg will never make a move.

_"I sat down next to her photograph, tried my best almost made her laugh. She was my toughest crown, there in the way, was a mountain up in the clouds." (Nickel Creek) _

'He's an idiot!'

'You should know best.'

She rolls her eyes at your words, not impressed.

'Well you're an idiot for still being with him.'

You follow her into her station, to her office which she is cleaning.

'You're Dean of Medicine now, you should have a higher standard than that.'

'Someone more like you then, Greg?'

Her hand is on your chest, stopping you and you fear she'll feel your heart hammering under her palm. Your eyes change, your head bows as you whisper:

' We used to be good together.'

'No Greg! No. You used to feel good with making me miserable.'

You'd like to shut yourself off to the sting in your heart her reply cause, want to hide the flicker of emotion from her. It flits across your eyes for a second and she sees, her face softening a bit.

'You have Stacy now.'

It's meant reassuring, because she thinks you're just hitting a rough patch and searching for the fast way out.

'Yea and you have Jason.'

You snort and roll your eyes turning to leave, before you throw her a bitter look and she throws one right back.

_"now you're looking at me like you're disgusted, then I'm definitely waiting for you to smile and change your mind, then I'll say I'm sorry and I'll wrap my arms 'round your body" (Paolo Nuttini, Jenny don't be hasty)_

Your hand wanders up her back, tracing the knobs of her spine and you smile warmly. She's on her tummy, head turned away from you. She turns as you kiss her shoulder and you stroke your nose up her neck to her cheek. She sighs, you hate it knowing what's about to do.

'This shouldn't have happened.'

'Many things shouldn't have.'

The remorse in your voice is heavy, settling onto you both and she lets her hand wander to stroke over your chest trying to soothe both your pains.

'We can't and shouldn't.'

You end up staying in bed with her, forgetting the outside world. Just for that one day that Stacy is at a conference and Jake is with his family.

And for that one day all you care about is that she moans your name over and over in the throws of passion because for the years to come, and it's as if you know that, that's the memory you live of.


End file.
